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How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 1 of 1 How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 2 of 2 DISCLAIMER AND TERMS OF USE AGREEMENT: (Please Read This Before Using This Report) This information in this course is for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not presented by a professional, and therefore the information in this course should not be considered a substitute for professional advice. Always seek the advice of someone qualified in this field for any questions you may have. The author and publisher of this course and the accompanying materials have used their best efforts in preparing this course. The author and publisher make no representation or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the contents of this course. The information contained in this course is strictly for educational purposes. 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Click Here To Visit Our Website How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 3 of 3 How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 4 of 4 How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 5 of 5 How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 6 of 6 How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 7 of 7 Contents Offspring’s “Self-Esteem”..........................................................................................................................8 The Band Offspring’s Song On Self Esteem..........................................................................................11 Self-Esteem Seminars ..............................................................................................................................13 How Self Esteem Workshops And Seminars Can Help You.................................................................16 Building Self-Confidence And Self-Esteem Is My Key To Success! ...................................................18 Developing Self Esteem During Childhood............................................................................................20 Some Tips For Building A Child’s Self Esteem .....................................................................................22 Building The Confidence And Self Esteem Of Your Teenager.............................................................24 Learn About Building High Self-Esteem.................................................................................................26 Building Confidence And Self Esteem....................................................................................................28 Activities In Building Self-Esteem In Children.......................................................................................30 Building Self-Esteem In The Eyes Of A Kid............................................................................................32 Building Self Esteem In Children ............................................................................................................34 Building Self Esteem Among Teens .......................................................................................................36 Help Build Your Partners Self Esteem ....................................................................................................38 Developing Self Esteem ...........................................................................................................................40 Self Esteem Determines Who We Are.....................................................................................................42 Your Self Esteem In Clothing...................................................................................................................44 Building Self Esteem ................................................................................................................................46 Developing Self Esteem In Our Children................................................................................................48 How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 8 of 8 Offspring’s “Self-Esteem” The album “Smash” is considered to be The Offspring’s break-out record. It was what really catapulted the band to fame. The said album was released in 1994 by Epitaph Records and has sold eight million copies which also made it the highest-selling record ever produced by an independent label. Incidentally Epitaph Records is also owned by Bad Religion guitarist Brett Gurewitz. He initially had his misgivings about the band but when he heard their single “Baghdad” produced in 1991, he changed his mind and signed them up. The following year, they released the album “Ignition” and its success has put them on tour together with No Doubt, Pennywise and Voodoo Glow Skulls. By 1993, they returned to the studio to record “Smash” and released it the following year with little knowledge that this was going to create a niche for them. The album was catapulted to fame by the singles “Self-Esteem”, “Gotta Get Away” and “Come Out And Play”. The band is composed of Bryan “Dexter” Holland on vocals, Greg Kriesel or Greg K on bass guitar, Kevin Wasserman , also called “Noodle” on lead guitar and Atom Willard on drums. Prior to joining the band, Kevin Wasserman was the school janitor recruited by Dexter Holland and Greg Krieser reportedly because he was old enough to procure alcohol for them. The Offspring’s “Self Esteem” is the second single released from Smash and speaks of being trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship and having full knowledge that one is not getting what one deserves, but is too weak to get out of it because of a very low self-esteem. The lyrics of the song are as follows: SELF-ESTEEM (The Offspring) I wrote her off for the tenth time today And practice all the things I would say But she came over How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 9 of 9 I lost my nerve I took her back and made her dessert Now I know I’m being used That’s okay man cause I like the abuse I know she’s playing with me That’s okay cause I got no self esteem We make plans to go out at night I wait till 2 then I turn out the light All this rejection’s got me so low If she keeps it up I just might tell her no Chorus When she’s saying that she wants only me Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends When she’s saying that I’m like a disease Then I wonder how much more I can spend Well I guess I should speak up for myself But I really think it’s better this way The more you suffer The more it shows you really care Right? yeah yeah yeah Now I’ll relate this little bit That happens more than I’d like to admit Late at night she knocks on my door Drunk again and looking to score Now I know I should say no But that’s kind of hard when she’s ready to go I may be dumb But I’m not a dweeb I’m just a sucker with no self esteem How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 10 of 10 Chorus When she’s saying that she wants only me Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends When she’s saying that I’m like a disease Then I wonder how much more I can spend Well I guess I should speak up for myself But I really think it’s better this way The more you suffer The more it shows you really care Right? yeah yeah yeah How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 11 of 11 The Band Offspring’s Song On Self Esteem Any fan of rock music would be familiar with the band Offspring. The band’s album titled SMASH was what gave them the first taste of true success, and it sold over eight million copies around the world. Self Esteem was one of the tracks on this album, and as the name suggests, it speaks of the importance of self esteem. To be precise, it speaks of the destruction that low self esteem can cause in your life. Here is a little more about the song: This song speaks about a man who is trapped in a relationship that is destructive to his own self. The relationship is with a woman who he loves. It speaks of a woman that the man has written off and wants to leave, but being an emotionally weaker person, he just cannot do it when he is face to face with this woman. Rather, he spoils her when he sees her, thinking that he may have been wrong about her all along. The man then goes on to say that later he is confident that she is using him and he still doesn’t do a thing about it. He has begun to enjoy the feeling of low self esteem. Although this man knows that the woman is just playing around with his emotions he does not do a thing about it, because he himself has written himself off as a person with low self esteem. The singer then speaks of the man making plans to take his lady friend out in the evening. She totally disregards his plans and does not care to even tell him that she doesn’t want to go out. After waiting till the middle of the night, the man feels rejected and abused once again, and feels that he may yet leave her if she keeps treating him this way. So we see a repetition of feelings of rejection and abuse, and still no effort on the man’s part to help him self get out of this destructive relationship. We then are told that the woman lies to this man that she loves him, while she sleeps with his friends every now and then. One can only imagine the destruction this piece of information can cause to the poor man’s psyche. The man fools himself into believing that the more he suffers the more his love for the woman is proved, and so he remains stuck in this vicious cycle of abuse and forgiveness. Yes this is only a song, but you would be surprised to see the number of people who are stuck in such a cycle of events, and the popularity of the song is proof of the existence of this large How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 12 of 12 number of people. This song well explains the state of mind of a weak person who is in an abusive relationship with an emotionally stronger person. The truth is that no one can hurt you unless you let them. Forgiveness is not wrong. But forgive for the right reason, not because you are too weak to leave the other person – that is just insecurity and not the right motive for forgiveness. Make sure your self esteem remains in tact, and you will never see such a situation in your life. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 13 of 13 Self-Esteem Seminars Self-esteem is the way in which a person views his or herself. A person with a healthy selfesteem has a positive outlook and believes in himself. A person who is lacking demonstrates anger and negativity. In fact, many people have written about the symptoms of lack of selfesteem Two of these people are Gillian Butler and Tony Hope, authors of Managing Your Mind, who listed the signs of low self-esteem as follows: feelings of being unloved overly dependent, inability to make decisions extreme jealousy excessive worry fear of trying new activities (risk-taking) perfectionism inability to describe or even understand feelings frustration excessive anger need to over achieve poor school performance highly critical of self and others continuously in poor health poor posture, slumping inability to look people in the eye drug, alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity eating disorders self-mutilation While it is important to develop self-esteem in childhood since a person is very impressionable from the ages one to five, self-esteem can be developed at any time or age. One just has to be patient and persevering. There are many ways to develop self-esteem. There are various reading materials on this subject, one of the most famous is Chicken Soup for the Soul by Jack Canfield. Incidentally, he also conducts self-esteem seminars. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 14 of 14 Self-esteem seminars could take anywhere from one to three days and these are wonderful tools to help develop self-esteem. One can also opt to seek therapy. The key to developing selfesteem is first to recognize what you lack. Pinpoint areas that made you that way and let go. Only with letting go can the process of healing and moving on can truly begin. Most societal problems today are borne out of a lack in self-esteem. While the most successful people first believed in themselves. Developing self-esteem can be a daunting task but with the right tools and determination, any one of any age can become better individuals. It would probably surprise a lot of people how a healthy self-esteem could turn their lives around and provide for them success in whatever they choose to do. Self-Assessment tests are available on the net, but for a thorough evaluation it would be best to seek professional help. Tests on the net usually just give glimpses or ideas of one’s personality strengths and weaknesses. On the other hand, it also lists some self-esteem seminars that one can opt to attend. Some popular seminars include: Jack canfield (author Chicken Soup for the Soul) Self-Esteem Optimization Seminar www.optimalthinking.com/Selfesteem National Association for Self-esteem (NASE) Self-Hel Energy Workshop (Dr. Doris Jeanette) While other reading materials include: "Measures of Self-Esteem." Blascovich, Jim and Joseph Tomaka “Measures of Personality and Social Psychological Attitudes” J.P. Robinson, P.R. Shaver, and L.S. Wrightsman “Two Dimensions of Self-Esteem: Reciprocal Effects of Positive Self-Worth and SelfDeprecation on Adolescent Problems." Owens, Timothy J. "Accentuate the Positive - and the Negative: Rethinking the Use of Self-Esteem, Self- “Deprecation, and Self-Confidence." Owens, Timothy J. “Extending Self-Esteem Theory and Research” Owens, Timothy J. “Society and the Adolescent Self-Image” Rosenberg, Morris “Conceiving the Self” Rosenberg, Morris How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 15 of 15 "Self-esteem: Clinical assessment and measurement validation." Silber, E. and Tippett, Jean “Self-Esteem: Its Conceptualization and Measurement” Wells, L. Edward and Gerald Marwell “The Self-Concept” Wylie, Ruth C. Indeed, it is truly important to develop self-esteem and in this day and age, this can easily be done. If you have the financial means, then you might want to consider taking seminars, however, you can also learn through books and there are various publications. The possibility is just endless and besides, it is never too late to be a better person. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 16 of 16 How Self Esteem Workshops And Seminars Can Help You Self esteem basically deals with how a person thinks about his or her own self. It is the mental self image that we have of our selves, and can play a huge part in your success or failure as may be the case. A person with good self esteem thinks positively about them self, while the person with a low self opinion is flooded with negative emotions. Gillian Butler and Tony Hope, through their book titled Managing Your Mind, tell us a lot about the characteristics of low self esteem. In fact they give us a list of synonyms that describe low self esteem. *The feeling that no one loves you *Too much dependence on others and an inability to make decisions independently *Feelings of jealousy *Too much worry *Too much fear of trying new things in life *Trying to be perfect all the time *Difficulty in recognizing feelings in the self and in others *Feelings of frustration *Too much Anger *A need to be better than others *Poor performances at work or school *Too critical of your self and of others *Too much bad health *A poor stance and posture *Refraining from looking at people eye to eye *Drug and Alcohol abuse *Bad eating habits *Feelings to hurt yourself It is true that the best time to get a high self esteem is when you are a child, but that does not mean you cannot help it once you are an adult. When you are a child you cannot control your surroundings but when you are an adult you can do so, you are in control of your life. Attending a self esteem seminar is one of the best options for adults looking to improve their self esteem. These seminars normally last from one to three days and can do a lot for your self image. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 17 of 17 When you look at the most successful people in life you will understand how much a healthy self esteem can do for you. The reverse is true as well – most of the problems faced by society today can be traced back to low self images that people carry of them selves, which can turn them to be destructive towards themselves and to others in the society as well. If you find your own self in such a frame of mind, maybe you should consider attending a good self help seminar. If you feel you do not have the time or the money to attend such seminars, that shouldn’t stop your efforts to improve the self image. You could always opt for self help books and articles and e-books on the net. After all, it is you who will benefit from this process, so don’t give up easily. Don’t give up till you have a healthy self image and thereby a successful life. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 18 of 18 Building Self-Confidence And Self-Esteem Is My Key To Success! In case, you are extremely discontented by what the common public would term as "a miserable private life", then you should be aware that you have to ring in some changes in your personal life. Certainly, "a miserable private life" can denote many things. But usually, it indicates that the individual suffers from an absence of self-confidence plus his self-esteem has touched rock bottom. Therefore, if you wish to introduce changes in your personal life and reverse your present condition into being a thriving and contented person as you expect to be, you require to pick up and concentrate on the below given suggestions. Seven Easy Ways To Develop Self Esteem & Self Confidence 1. Improve your interpersonal skills In case you are short on self-confidence and possess little self-esteem, you without doubt have little or no social life. Now, this is due to the fact that you lack sufficient guts to interact with other people. In such a case, it is very important that you improve your interpersonal skills. But, how is this achieved? Begin by becoming a member of a group and start to be more friendly and approachable and believe in the people you meet. You can begin with a dear friend, whom you can rely on and act on your social scene from this point. Alternatively, you can attend programs, workshops, and seminars, which would enable you to develop your self-confidence as well as boost your self-esteem. Diffidence and apprehension are your most awful adversaries if you wish to be amicable with other persons; hence you must fight them tooth and nail. 2. Hone your communication abilities Dearth of self-confidence as well as little self-esteem may be due to lack of or extremely poor communication abilities. Now, what is required of you is that to understand how to carry on a conversation. You need to meet and associate with a number of people. However, opt for people you can count on. If you feel that nobody can be relied upon, begin with members of your family or expert therapists. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 19 of 19 3. Learn to have an optimistic attitude in your life and yourself Adopt a frame of mind that makes you really feel good with every passing day. This ensures that you have a cheerful and positive outlook about life in general and yourself in particular. How can this be done? Begin your day in good spirits and a happy smile. While it may sound clichéd, beginning your morning on a happy note tends to make the remainder of the day enjoyable and fun. 4. Never aspire for perfection In case you seek perfection, you will just end up being discouraged and upset with yourself. Nobody is perfect and that applies to you, too. Therefore, when you plan your objectives strive for the very best but also acknowledge the probability of lapses. 5. Dump self-consciousness Self-consciousness is the very reverse of self-confidence. Therefore, if you wish to develop selfconfidence, you need to dump your self-consciousness. In order to achieve this, you should not think about the fear of embarrassment and censure. Rather, distract yourself by thinking of the wonderful things that life brings. Speak to yourself and learn to be poised and assured in whatever you do. 6. Never focus on your setbacks This means that you require to be upbeat and hopeful. Do not worsen things by brooding over all the depressing things that you have gone through. Concentrate on your accomplishments instead. 7. Look after yourself Eat healthy, obtain adequate sleep, and work out. Adhering to these three things would ensure you feel good, both within and without. This is a sure-fire way to develop your self-confidence as also enhance your self-esteem. Once you have followed these steps, you will certainly notice the change in yourself. Before long, you can pronounce that, "developing self-esteem and self-confidence is the secret to success!" How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 20 of 20 Developing Self Esteem During Childhood The building of self-esteem starts in childhood. This means that as parents you have a responsibility to help your son or daughter to have a healthy self-image of him or herself. A healthy self-image is the cornerstone of good self-esteem. How important is self-esteem in a child's development? Developing self-esteem during childhood is very crucial. This is because it could affect the child in every stages of his or her development. How he looks at him or herself will definitely affect his or her future relationships, career development, confidence, prosperity and even happiness. Studies have shown that one of the traits happy people share is having a positive self-image of themselves. How does a parent that his or her child has a healthy self-image? There are several ways to do this. Below are just some of the things you can do to develop your child's self-esteem. Never compare your child with other children The single most devastating thing a parent can do to ruin his or her child's self-esteem is to compare him or her with other children. Unfortunately, comparisons are very much a part of our culture particularly our schooling system. One of the ways a child gets compared to other children is through peer pressure. Every child knows that there is tremendous pressure from other children, particularly from the ones in school to conform to the ways of a certain group. That is why in school you can see several cliques and these groups can be identified with different labels. There are the jocks, the jerks, the nerd or geek, the addict, the slut, etc. These groups are inherently not bad but oftentimes group's identity precedes the individual's identity which could lead into a loss in identity and eventually low self-esteem. To most adults these are just groups and labels but for a young innocent child the cliques are their world. Your child intentionally or not gets labeled and his or her tendency to is group with the ones with similar ideas and interests. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 21 of 21 Always praise and encourage your children When you talk to your child, always remember to use positive and encouraging words. If your child has done something praiseworthy then do not hold back on the kind and beautiful words. Doing so will do wonders for your kid's self esteem. It does not matter whether the act is big or small. If he did something good then praise him for it. There is nothing more discouraging than the feeling of not being appreciated for the things that you have done. Praising and encouraging children provides them with a positive self image of themselves. For them, it means that they are important enough for you to notice and recognize their achievements in life. By constantly giving kind encouraging words to children, you can ensure that they will grow healthy psychologically. Of course if they did something wrong, children should be reprimanded. But should do it in a way that it won't hurt their ego and damage their esteem. Whenever they have done something that is less than d desirable always make it clear to them that you are not in favor with the deed and not with them. Remember, developing your child's self-esteem is very important in his or her progress. Just follow the guidelines to make sure that your kid will grow up mature emotionally and mentally. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 22 of 22 Some Tips For Building A Child’s Self Esteem Parents are very powerful figures in the life of any child. First of all, they are responsible for conceiving the child and for bringing that child into this world so everything that comes after there will still be held somewhat responsible. The mother best of all has a special emotional connection with her children while fathers are mostly the ones who deal with practical things in raising children. A perfect relationship between parents and children will be when the parents are role models of providing love and support within the family while the children are obedient but to a certain degree also independent in living their lives. In this world however there is no such thing as perfect but this should not stop us from trying to build an ideal relationship. There can always be a health compromise but the most important thing that parents should remember is that the times when the children are still young is the only time they can make the biggest impact. The children are innately obedient and loving towards their parents so it is up to the parents to use this advantage in instilling good things to their children so they grow up to be good and strong willed individuals. One thing that parents can help a child build is their children’s self esteem. Parents should also be aware that aside from being crucial to building a child’s self esteem, it is so easy to damage their self esteem if parents do not deal with their children properly. Parents can contribute in developing positive feelings of self worth in their children by helping them in a lot of aspects including the social and academic factors. Let us look some tips that will help the parents out there to build their children’s self esteem. Constant and sincere appreciation will make your child feel special. Most parents tend to only communicate with their children if they need something from them or if they need to correct them in whatever they are doing. This is not a good practice. Parents should take the time to talk to their children about good things that they have done. Make sure that whatever you say is sincere and appropriate. Do not over praise because as in anything else too much praising can bring out a negative result. When you really need to How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 23 of 23 comment on something bad, do not be judgmental instead phrase your comment in a positive form. Your children may not be mature but they know when they are simply being corrected without explanation. Offer a reason why they are being corrected or better yet work with your children to arrive at a solution to make things better so such a situation will not happen again. If you have children with learning disability, make sure that you very well understand the nature of your children’s problem and vow to closely work with teachers and other important people to make her environment friendly to her despite her disability. All these things are not full proof shields against possible crushing of self esteem but it will help them deal with the harsh realities of like with a perspective that they are tough and can meet challenges head on. They may fail but they will get back on their feet faster than everyone else. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 24 of 24 Building The Confidence And Self Esteem Of Your Teenager The teenage years are probably the most awkward years for your teenagers. When a child reaches this age, he or she faces many new changes and challenges. It was much easier when they were younger because parents have total control over their children but as babies grow up to be teenagers along comes the development of the minds to think on their own. Teenagers want to try new many things and they are ever more ready to meet challenges head on but what scares most parents are the facts that not all new things are good and that not all challenges are meant to be attacked head on. The parents though are careful to be interfering because at this stage the teenagers want to prove themselves so they think that resisting their parents is cool. This is indeed a difficult situation but one sure way a parent can be of help to a teenager is to help the teenager build his confidence and self esteem. A teenager with high self esteem and has self confidence have an edge over those who are easily swayed by the crowd and who cannot defend themselves from people who just wish to manipulate them into making the wrong decisions or into doing things that are bad for them. Parents should be able to teach their teenagers that people come in all shapes and sizes that way they will be able to be more accepting of their physical attributes and would also be nonjudgmental of others. Encourage them to get into activities where the playing field is equal. Sports is a great way to develop the social skills of your teenager and a chance to excel. A teenager with good social skills would be able to handle all types of people and situations. Excelling in anything can boost a teenager’s confidence and self esteem. Teenagers should earn their self esteem because that way they will not give it up just like that. Parents can support them in this endeavor by constantly giving well deserved and genuine praise. While parents cannot be there all the way, they should always be ready to lend a hand when their teenagers need a hand to hold on to. For sure there will be failures along the way but a little failure is always a good sign. What is most important is to teach them resilience. Parents are not meant to shield their children from pain and discomfort but rather for them to make sure they will go through pain and discomfort and then come out fine. Make sure that it is How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 25 of 25 clear that you will never abandon them no matter what. Give them the vote of confidence that they can handle the situation because that is the only way to show respect to their independence. As much as parents want to be their number one cheer leaders in a loud way, the quiet belief in your teenagers will make more impact. Reality bites, we all know that but always there is always a room to go forward. Hopefully all these things will guide parents in making life easier for both them and their teenagers. No one says that this will be an easy ride but like in any case we can always find ways to make things lighter for us and for everyone around us. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 26 of 26 Learn About Building High Self-Esteem Self esteem is something that every person should have and the loss of it in a person spell disaster. Just like anything that a person has to have, a person should work at building his or her self esteem. Before one can do that, there is a need to know things about self esteem. Self esteem is how a person perceives his or herself. There are various factors that a person should have a positive attitude about including the value he or she gives to him or herself as a human being, his or her career and his or her achievements in order to develop a high self esteem. That is only for starters, one has to go deeper an see a positive meaning to one’s place in the world and as well as one’s purpose in life. In looking at the future, there should be optimism while evaluating one’s potential to be successful by working on one’s weaknesses and highlighting the strengths. Last but certainly not the least a person has to have independence or the capacity to stand on his or her own to feet because being independent is one good way to start building a high self esteem. Knowing all these things will help a great deal but there might also be other factors that you want to add but this is a really good start already. You might get from the very long first paragraph that building high self esteem is all about the individual and that is true because your self worth is obviously based on how the individual sees his or himself. However the people surrounding a person also has an impact on the self esteem of the individual concerned especially the people with whom the person has a close relationship with. This is the reason why there are a lot of cases of damaged self esteems that are somehow related to emotional and physical battery as well as milder cases of heartbreaks for the teenagers. Getting back on your feet has a lot to do with getting that self esteem back after a shattering experience. It does not matter if you work on building it slowly so long as you are focused at getting your high self esteem back to where it belongs. The importance of high self esteem is one thing that we cannot ignore because it is very crucial as a cornerstone to a happy living. Having a high level of this aspect of yourself will make you How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 27 of 27 highly motivated to work at achieving your goals will give you the right attitude to be successful in whatever endeavor one chooses to take. In fact in a CNN interview with Robert Wagner by the legend Larry King, he was quoted as saying that “I would tell them the most important thing is to work on your self esteem that is the best advice I can give.” Take it from someone who knows what he is talking about and to one who walked the talk. So for those who have low self esteem, look within yourselves and discover that there is so much about you that you can be proud of. For those who are lucky enough to already be working on building high self esteem, keep up with your good work and hopefully nothing will ever crush you should something very challenging come your way. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 28 of 28 Building Confidence And Self Esteem There are 2 major qualities that practically define a person and how far they will go in life. These traits are confidence and self-esteem. Someone who lacks these two qualities will often fail to succeed in life, and become what is called a "loser". No one wants to be a loser, but they do exist in society today, just as they have existed for hundreds of years. People with low confidence and self-esteem often have problems holding down a job, have little ambition or drive, and are generally a drain upon society. Building a persons confidence and self-esteem starts when they are very young, with their parents and home life. Helping Your Child Succeed - Confidence and Self-Esteem Building Everyone has challenges. How a person deals with those challenges stems from how they learned to deal with problems when they were young. And learning to meet these challenges head-on, and build confidence and self-esteem, starts when a person is young. Here are some tips for parents to help build their child's confidence and self-esteem. Acknowledge the Good There is nothing worse for a child's confidence and self-esteem than coming home from school with their shiny "A" or completed school project, and having a parent display no enthusiasm or give no praise. If your child accomplishes something good, let them know! Frame that report card, or medal, or whatever. Show that it means something, both to you and your child, when they do something well. Not only will this build the child's confidence and self-esteem, but looking at last semester's report card and remembering the praise, or the dinner out, or however you rewarded your child, can give them the drive to do it again next semester. Reinforce the Positive A positive take on life on the parents part directly translates to their children’s' outlooks. A parent who is pessimistic and acts beaten by life will instill those values as easily as a parent with sunny outlooks, even in the face of life challenges, instill that in their children. The way a child meets challenges has a direct impact on both their confidence and self-esteem. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 29 of 29 A parent shouldn't call out the negatives they see in everyone around them. They should be thankful that their child and life is sound and healthy, without giving the child the impression that they are "better" than a less fortunate child or family. A false sense of intrinsic worth based on the misfortune of others can lead to low confidence and self-esteem later in life. If the parents have given their child a task to do, and they complete it well, praise them! A parent must be consistent, however, and be sure that you really mean it. Few things can hurt a child's confidence and self-esteem like hearing their parent talking about how bad they performed a task to another person, after the same parent gave the child praise for a task well done. If a parent's child is not performing as well as they should be, don't criticize and be nasty about the child's shortcomings. Rather, the parent try to explain how they could be doing better in specific areas, while still pointing out the things the child is doing well. All this leads to greater confidence, and thus, self-esteem. Take an Active Role A parent should always do their best to participate in their child's life. Parents, go to after-school activities! Watch their performances! Cheer them on! A child who sees his parents don't care about something will wonder both why he or she should care, and why his or her parents don't care about them like the other kids parents do. This can be a major blow to a child's confidence, self-esteem, and drive. It all Comes Back to the Parents If a parent gives their child the kind of attention and love discussed above, then their child will be successful. High confidence and self-esteem are absolutely vital in preparing a child for the future. Don't condemn them to a life of mediocrity and therapy sessions, get involved, show support and love, and the rest will follow naturally. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 30 of 30 Activities In Building Self-Esteem In Children When bringing up a child, one of the biggest concerns that face parents is their child's SelfConcept and Self-Esteem. Parents must try to find a balance when teaching their children how to value themselves and their natural abilities; allowing them enough independence to grow and learn to make their own decisions, whilst at the same time guiding them on the right path. This gives them Self-Esteem. Allowing your child too much freedom can make them rebellious as they get older, whilst if you are overly strict this can lead them to losing their independence and self confidence; which may lead to dependency on others. They may be not be able to face the big, wide world on their own which is what any parent would wish to avoid - a child that is too clingy. Anyone can develop Self-Esteem at any age but encouraging your child to learn from an early age and praising their individual talents, will help to build their trust in their own decision making, as they grow in confidence and learn to recognize their own natural gifts - a step towards building their Self-Esteem. The following are activities to help increase your child's Self-Esteem: Self-Affirming Statements Stand facing a mirror, telling yourself what a great person you are; this may seem childish, but for a child, it is a great, fun way to boost their Self-Esteem as well as yours - try it! You don't have to stick to the mirror process, but make up your own words of 'Self-Affirming Statements'. Remember to stick to these basics and you should do fine. Create mantras that a child can remember easily. Each morning, start by saying the mantra to your child, and have them repeat it back to you so that it becomes their mantra. They do not have to be statements about yourself, they could be about each other, such as, "I love you", or statements about complimenting each other. The mantras can vary, as long as the essence is on 'affirming oneself'. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 31 of 31 The Positive Trait Game The Positive Trait Game is an activity that boosts Self-Esteem as well as helping to increase your child's vocabulary. The game involves telling each other a Positive Trait that you can see in the other, by using a word - only the key point of the game involves thinking of a word that begins with a specific letter of the alphabet. The child learns by picking up new words that they haven't come across and understanding their meaning for future use - that is to say they are increasing their vocabulary. This encourages your child to think positively about themselves; to acknowledge and recognize their own unique traits and talents. They will grow up knowing where their strengths lie. Engaging In Activities That Your Child Love Involve your child in a variety of activities that will encourage their own talents and abilities. Be open-minded and enroll them in Summer classes, including activities that are new to them, to broaden their horizons and increase their skills. Even if they don't enjoy themselves, at least they will have acquired new skills. Helping them to discover new talents that they are good at, will boost their Self-Esteem at an early age. What better way to increase their enthusiasm to learn and develop more! How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 32 of 32 Building Self-Esteem In The Eyes Of A Kid Our children are our country's future. Without proper training, they will not learn the skills passed down from the older generation, and they will not learn to advance which is what we expect of our children. It is important that parents, teaching staff and our friends all help in building Self-Esteem in a child. Parents should begin at home by showering affection by rewarding good deeds and also acknowledging them, whilst untoward behavior must be met in a subtle, but effective manner. Self-Esteem isn't just about giving words of encouragement. You should also teach your child to become independent - parents can do this by allowing their child to learn a new hobby, sport or musical instrument. When a child is old enough, they may want to take on a paper round, or carry out chores like mowing the lawn for extra pocket money, which teaches them what it is to work hard, rather than it being carried out by you or another member of the family. It also gives them satisfaction if they are helping family out. Parents must always keep an open mind when communicating with their child. School can encourage untoward behavior, as they mix with other children and they may give in to peer pressure. Your child may think that something is cool when it is actually a silly prank, so legal guardians have to remain vigilant at all times. In school, teachers serve as your child's legal guardians. Grades are just one way of measuring how well a child is progressing or not; look out for evaluation exams or disciplinary records that other institutions may administer. This gives you a fuller picture and a better understanding of how well a child is developing. If your child is getting low grades, or getting into fights, this can be very alarming. A child's low Self-Esteem could be down to their not digesting what is taught in class or it could be that there is a problem at home. This matter, would involve calling in the parents and principal, and sometimes even a Child Psychologist. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 33 of 33 Children make lots of new friends in school. Some may even become lasting friendships that last a lifetime. Building Self-Esteem in a child also involves making sure that they hang out in the right crowd. Being with people who share the same values as well as being different, all help to make someone into a law abiding citizen. Parents are usually to blame if they don't encourage Self-Esteem in their child, and seemingly become a part of the 'Yob Culture' of today's society. Numerous teens that have been arrested as part of a group involved in shooting sprees around the country, have been tried as adults once a case has been brought to court. Self-Esteem is not something that is inherited at birth. It is developed at those crucial early years by words of encouragement and actions. Is there such a thing as too much praise? Some people agree that there is as failures can also teach a person to learn more and become a stronger person than they were to start with. Is it ever too late for anyone to build up their Self-Esteem? The answer is no, as we continue to learn whilst we are still alive, so one can always evolve into a better person! There are many resources about Self-Esteem - books, tapes and DVD's. There are also professionals in counseling. These, together, with shared experiences from family and friends, can all help to shape your child, so that they become a productive member of society. They may even be a role model for others! What a proud moment for any parent or guardian! How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 34 of 34 Building Self Esteem In Children For any child to succeed in life, you must build up their Self-Esteem. Once they have this, later on as they grow up, they should be able to succeed in achieving some of their ambitions which they have dreamt about; this can happen with encouragement of the parents and teachers which all plays a part in 'shaping your child'. The moment commences right at the birth of a child. Parents smile at the first glimpse of their child, the moment they utter their first words, the moment they can stand and take their first few steps, unaided - throughout every stepping stone in their life. Parents may not even realize that at this stage, a child is able to accept acknowledgement through spoken words and any signs of affection. An effective way of building up their child's Self-Esteem is by regularly giving the child lots of praise. Some experts believe that if parents do this too often it can have consequences. This can be for two reasons: Firstly, if a child does something to be proud of the praise they receive will be what they come to expect. Besides the parents, the child will come across millions of people in their lifetime, and they soon realize that words of praise are not as forthcoming as they had come to expect. They will not be rewarded for everything good deed. Secondly, a young child does not always do things correctly. Sometimes they are badly behaved and unless a parent does something about this, a child will not learn the difference between what is right and what is wrong. Another part of building up Self-Esteem includes knowing when to give constructive criticism. This is by explaining to a child when they have done something correctly and also when they have done something in the wrong manner. There are always many ways of approaching a situation and sometimes when you review what you have done, you realize that you could've handled it differently. The parent must also be able to achieve a balance in criticizing a child, as too much can dent their confidence, as time and time again they are corrected on their behavior and they will feel personally attacked. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 35 of 35 Parents do this not only to turn the child into somebody they can be proud of such as God when he decided to create a man, but simply so that their child becomes a person that is an active member of today's society and live as a law abiding citizen or by any given rules. Thirdly, another way of building Self-Esteem in your children is by the parents setting a good example. The actions being displayed by the mum or dad play a major role in the how their child develops. Those that swear, will often be surprised when one day the child comes out and does the same. Parents are the first role models that a child will come across. Although by watching film and television, this can also play a part in what a child picks up, parents are generally there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, which is much longer than what an hour or two of a programme can do to influence a child. Parents are the ones that must set an example for their child to follow. Even if either mum or dad as a child, did not have much self worth or pride their children should not have to go through the same experience. These people learn from their mistakes made before and try their very best to prevent this happening to what will be the future generation. It is never easy to bring out the best in a child. There are always trials ahead, and those who succeed can be proud of seeing their son or daughter graduate from high school or college, and instill these same qualities in their own children. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 36 of 36 Building Self Esteem Among Teens Every parent, ideally, would like their child to develop enough Self-Esteem so that they can succeed in life. This all starts the moment a child emerges from birth, and continues as the child ventures out into the world, as they mature into adulthood. Studies show that there are two ways in Self-Esteem is defined by adults. This is how adults can perceive oneself, to others. Teens, on the other hand, feel that if they are to fit in with the rest of their peers, they have to act cool and join in with others. Is there a reason for this difference? This could be due to the age gap as adults have had time to experience more and can distinguish between important matters against trivial ones. Teenagers are still in the learning Process and finding their feet. So, what changes should adults make in order to continue to build up Self-Esteem in a teenager? Teens are in the age of discovery, so the best thing an adult can do is to be open to answering any questions on particular subjects, and support each individual in the choices that they make. For example, if a teenager wants to try out for the football team, parents hope for the best for them that things will work out fine. Others, will want to look out for their child and try to avoid them hurting themselves in any kind of sport. Parents also discipline a teenager for any wrong behavior which is another part of building SelfEsteem. They should explain why they have done something wrong which is better than yelling, to enable the individual to understand what is unacceptable behavior, in the hope that they will not make the same mistake again. Another way of to build Self-Esteem, is that parents should know when to comfort their child when things don't quite work out. If parents decide that they have to go their separate ways, a teenager will feel devastated if a couple breaks up, as it is their first love which comes from both parents. All parents can do is say that everything will work itself out in the end, and maybe, someone better will come along in the future. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 37 of 37 Self-Esteem does not come from just the parents; it also comes from teachers your child meets when they start school and those that are considered friends by the teenager. Other adults then hold the responsibility of 'molding their child' into respectable adults. Friends are very much like parents, in being able to offer comfort if their son or daughter feels they are too ashamed to open up to them about certain issues in life. By building Self-Esteem, this helps the teenager to evolve. A person can change if they feel the need, or they can stay where they are if they happy - their 'comfort zone'. Life doesn't always turn out as one would expect, so this is gives the perfect chance to start afresh, as though giving oneself a new lease of life. An individual eventually learns that Self-Esteem is innate, once they have discovered their strengths and weaknesses. They can adapt by focusing on what they are good at, and learn to acquire new 'tricks' to improve on those weak points as they come across them. It is true to say, that when all else fails and the teenager feels like they have a heavy load on their shoulder, it is the parents that they can turn to. This is the biggest responsibility of being a parent, and once their son or daughter grows up and ,maybe, decides that is time to have their own children, the guardians can take a break. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 38 of 38 Help Build Your Partners Self Esteem As life partners, couples are responsible for each other, in taking care of each other's needs. This is even more so when dealing with psychological matters. It is very important for a person to strive to help their partner to improve on their Self-Esteem at this difficult time. This is the opportune moment of expressing your love for your partner and to show that you care, by helping him or her to improve on their Self-Esteem. By boosting their Self-Esteem, you improve your chances of a longer, more stable relationship, which is what most couples hope for in a long term commitment. Relationships can continue to be successful if both partners are akin to one another, whether it be on an emotional or psychological level. Maturity is an indication when you have a healthy Self-Image and Self-esteem. The following are ways to help your partner improve on their Self-Esteem: Acknowledge that no one person is 'perfect' Always bear in mind know that no one person is perfect, so you shouldn't expect that of your partner or yourself for that matter. Believe, instead, that there is the capacity for everyone to change if they want to. So, whatever, the current state your partner is in, know that this situation can just as easily change given time and effort. Be accepting of your partner for who they are as a person, an important point to keep in mind. We are all individuals. You should never say to your partner that you wish that they were someone else, as this may have a lasting, damaging effect which can take a long time to heal, and a lot of effort to repair. If you really love your partner, accepting who he or she is really counts, along with their flaws and shortfalls. Do not hold back on giving praise and compliments If your partner has accomplished something that is worthy of praise, then feel free to praise or compliment them for their efforts. This is most effective, if you give your partner at least one compliment a day. Compliments, no matter how small, mean a lot. As an example, when your partner is getting ready for work, let them know in words how wonderful they look in their office How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 39 of 39 suit; or if they are wearing a new after-shave, or perfume, tell them how good they smell. That should give them a smile that will last all day! Giving your compliments not only works wonders for improving your partner's Self-Esteem; it can also bring more magic into your relationship. Always avoid giving harsh criticisms. By paying compliments you shouldn't feel that you have to lie, but you should also be careful not to be brutally frank. If you don't like what they are wearing it is better to say instead, that you preferred what they wore last week, than to say that they look awful. Keep your ears open at all times - listen to your partner One of the key secrets to a lasting relationship is good communication on a daily basis. It is equally important to listen to each other, as it is to talk to one another. Be your partner's most captive audience. Whenever he or she is saying something, always give them your full attention. Knowing that you are listening attentively, is a huge confidence booster for anyone, so increasing his or her Self-esteem. By following the guidelines above, you can help your boost your partner's Self-Esteem and Confidence. Once your partner's Self-Esteem has reached an acceptable level, you will notice that your relationship has also improved along with it. So it is truly worth taking all the time necessary to do these things - right now! How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 40 of 40 Developing Self Esteem As children are growing up, parents find that one thing they are mainly concerned about is addressing the development of their child's Self-Esteem. We use Self-Esteem to judge how much we respect ourselves and more importantly, to love ourselves just the way we are. We can develop Self-Esteem at any time in our life, but in order to build up a good foundation it is better to start in the formative years as we are growing and developing. In psychology scientists and other experts believe that how much Self-Esteem we have depends on luck itself. Some babies are naturally born with a lot of Self-Esteem and others need to develop it further. They also believe that parents are born with a high Self-Esteem then the likelihood of producing babies with a high Self-Esteem is better. It is not a proven fact whether genes or how we inherit our personality contribute to this factor; although some evidence shows that there could be a genetic link. What we are born with does not predict what you are going to be like for the rest of your life, so it doesn't matter if you are born with low Self-Esteem. It can be developed at any age, so starting young gives you a good foundation to build on. Whatever we experience in life can change the levels of our Self-Esteem - that is to say that it can fluctuate. There are many factors which can affect the way we develop our Self-Esteem, so this could in effect bring about low Self-Esteem. To a child growing up, how they are treated by the parents can have a bearing on how they think they should treat themselves, as well as their perception on how they allow others to treat them. Group social interaction in our lives can affect the way we think - the difficulties that we face can sometimes be traumatic, leading to low Self-Esteem, and at the opposite end of the scale our happier times can increase these levels. How we choose our friends can be a factor that will determine how much Self-Esteem we have. Those that boost your confidence and are influential can do much to help us develop, whilst those who continually undervalue us with putdowns can leave us feeling at a low ebb. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 41 of 41 Being surrounded by people who continually praise us and point out our abilities and other gifts, increase our self confidence, because they show that they believe in us. Placing that trust and planting these thoughts in our minds about how good we are at doing things, help us to work better. This cycle of positiveness will give us high levels of Self-Esteem. The activities that we choose to do can also be a factor in how we build up our Self-Esteem. If you enroll on a course at College and you find that you are stuck with something you don't enjoy, this can lower your Self-Esteem, whereas a course that you really enjoy would do the opposite by making you feel more positive. Taking part in things that you enjoy and love can build up your Self-Esteem so much that you feel a lot of enthusiasm and can give your best. As a result, you can succeed in achieving and accomplishing something that you can be proud of - increasing your Self-Esteem! How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 42 of 42 Self Esteem Determines Who We Are Self-esteem plays a great part in how well we do in our lives, which isn't that obvious to us, so it can determine how successful we become. Our views of ourselves, what we think of our abilities and innate talents, affect our thought patterns. These thoughts are then turned into actions. The actions we take in life are very important, as we use them to realize our dreams. If we do not reach the goals we set for ourselves, or fulfill our dreams, it could be that we are not taking the right steps towards reaching our potential, or that you are actually doing something wrong. Most people do not realize that there is a link between our thoughts and actions. When you have positive thoughts, your actions are very positive, and at the opposite end of the scale, if you have negative thoughts then you are likely to project that into negative actions and may become inactive. We all have dreams and ambitions and to fulfill those does take time. What gives you the drive and determination to succeed is high Self-Esteem. This can give you that extra push and willpower to reach your goals. Low Self-Esteem can, as a consequence, be a stumbling block to reaching your potential, as the difficulty you face is being able to carry out the actions necessary to help you reach your goals. Basically, Self-Esteem is about how a person views themselves and their abilities. Feeling positive about oneself will give us high Self-Esteem; having a low opinion about oneself will in effect give us lower Self-Esteem. We lower our Self-Esteem by personal criticism, which is the worst kind as this can be soul destroying. You should not tell yourself, "I cannot", or "that is just so impossible" as criticizing yourself leads to self doubt. It is better to use positive words and thoughts that instill confidence in yourself, then you can achieve anything you set your heart on. Believe in who you are! So, what should you do to build up your Self-Esteem? Your thought patterns plant the root feelings which we then act upon, so it is important that you try to keep positive thoughts which you find beneficial. It is best to focus your attentions on your successes and your achievements, rather than your failures and losses. We all mistakes, but it is best not to dwell How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 43 of 43 on them. By looking at your past and remembering what you've achieved isn't part of vanity, it's acknowledging and recognizing your abilities. We have all accomplished something in life and by sitting down and making a list of all those achievements, it allows you to look back and remember those great moments. You can relive the hurdles and obstacles that you overcame to meet the challenges you faced; it is quite a surprise when you see that you have already achieved so much in life. At times when you have the greatest feelings of self doubt, this list is something you can refer to remember those wonderful achievements. As you succeed in doing more things, you can add them to your list. You should always remember that Self-Esteem and success in life are correlated, so work at improving the quality of your thoughts for future success. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 44 of 44 Your Self Esteem In Clothing With the teenager crowd becoming more and more obsessed with what they wear, the majority of their self-esteem comes from their fashion sense. Companies have figured out that if they can jump on this new trend, the money would begin to filter its way into the hands of the corporate leaders. This is part of the reason why Self-Esteem Clothing was created, as they began to provide t-shirts and other such accessories. A few of their earlier shirts had different sayings or one liners on them that made them offensive, thus they had to be recalled. This company did, in fact, start providing something that brought many more curious eyes on their products. They began a website that allowed the people who logged on to communicate with others on the site. By doing this, they also jumped onto the Network Site craze, drawing more youth. They even promote essay contests for those who log onto the site. A prize is then given to the one that is chosen. By walking through your local mall, you can see the affects of clothing on people. In fact, this is not only the case with many teenagers, it is the same with full grown adults as well. Clothing reflects the self-esteem one has for themselves, revealing their level of confidence in their identity. This is why Self Esteem Clothing is such a catchy name. Since women are the obvious focus of the American culture in way of looks and physical appearance, Self Esteem Clothing is specifically designed for women. This focus on the physical appearance is one of the major reasons that women, by a large margin, hold the most confidence and self-esteem issues across the board. Since this is the case, the style of clothing that is provided is mainly casual, since the only true sense of self esteem can come when someone is able to live and breathe, moving around in their individual body. Confidence, true confidence, is not produced if the confidence disappears after you take your clothing off. Feel good about yourself has nothing to do about what you are wearing or what is said about you, it is all about how you see yourself and what your believe to be true about yourself. Since this is, in fact, the truth in every case, Casual clothing is one of the best options, as it does not attempt to cover up anything. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 45 of 45 Due to the overwhelming lack of confidence found in the teenager arena, it is evident that the younger generations tend to feel more passionately about their appearance than any there age group. This may be because of their constant interaction with their peers in school, as they deal with acceptance issues on more than a daily basis. This can be quickly stifled by the constant bombardment of encouragement and support from their loving, unconditional parents. However, like with anything, there is always a balance to be discovered. When your child, for example, goes out and comes back with one of the most bizarre designs for a shirt your eyes have ever beheld, this is not always due to peer pressure. Learn what is pressure induced or self image induced. Once distinguished, let them be their own individual. Now that we have come to the end of this article, you might be asking, "Well, what does all of this mean?" This is an excellent question and is usually asked by those that have no problem dealing with life's ins and outs. For those of us that have a history with the lack of self-esteem, we might be asking the question, "How am I able to gain this confidence in myself?" It all boils down to trusting that you have been uniquely and individually created, and that you are not subject to anyone’s accusations or judgments. The truth is, confidence in yourself means trusting yourself, that is, being able to look in the mirror and say, "Yes! This is good enough for me!" How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 46 of 46 Building Self Esteem Ah, your child's first day at kindergarten! As you expected, your child runs to a corner out of fear and intimidation from the large crowd. This image only brings you back to the memories of your shying away from the first crowds you were expected to mingle with. Like your parents, it is always a good idea to try to motivate interaction on part of your child. This is part of the parent's initiative roles in any little ones' life. However, sometimes it doesn’t take a hard push toward the crowd to scare the shyness out of your child's eyes. Actually, this might only increase it more, as they are embarrassed even more from your loud and public attempts to help. Parenting is not a science, and there are no 100% accurate manuals available on how to produce active, unafraid children. The only thing that anyone can do is to teach their children as best as they can to never shy away from a challenge. This is not something that most adults get, so being able to teach a child this might just pave a wide, productive road for him or her. It is not completely uncommon to see older teens and / or adults living with their parents, while their parents are still protecting them from the many dangers that lie outside of their arm's length. This is something that needs to be broken in every child's life, as it will take a breaking away from a parent's embrace to teach them how to live out in the real world on their own. Only their self esteem can hold them up, and this is a historic promise. For those of us that are in need of guidance in way of instilling self esteem in our children, the following are some very helpful hints: A. Comfort Zone: make it comforting to step outside of their comfort zone Life is not a set structure with unbreakable rules and consequences. Our children do not need a set guideline mentality when they grow up; they need the ability to think for themselves and to take risks. By setting guidelines for them when they are younger and, when something happens to disrupts this order, allow them to think for themselves and solve to problem at hand, you just might teach them how to live life more effectively. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 47 of 47 B. Understand that the ever stretching protection of the parent's arm has limits This might be the greatest thing a parent can do for their children, though it may also be the most painful. By allowing your offspring to make mistakes and to live through the consequences, they might gain that extra edge to them that they would not if they remained under the diligent protection of their parents. If a man or woman is able to live through their experience and learn from their mistakes due to your refusal to intervene, they might also learn that it is better to learn from another's experience and come asking more questions. C. Let the poor thing alone! Like you and your passions and desires, your child born with a unique identity and an individual personality. This is where most parents sink, as some consider their dreams to be fulfilled through the lives of their offspring. Rather than allowing them to live their own lives and to see their dreams to completion, some parents smother the passions of their children and cause them to live bitter and pointless lives. These are just a few simple hints as to how to see your child's self esteem grow it its full potential. As with anything, it all depends of the guardian's encouragement and ability to listen and release their offspring into their new world that will greatly depend on their success. It is through encouragement that the majority of this work can be done, and one word of encouragement can cause the most untalented individual to take over the world. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 48 of 48 Developing Self Esteem In Our Children The world is slowly becoming a different place than we remember. Growing up used to be fun with all sorts of secure benefits given to us through our parents, the municipality’s handling of the local parks and the quite summer nights. This is no longer the only reality that exists, as the media and peer pressure seems to have skyrocketed in the past ten years. Self-Esteem is truly the only line of defense any child has as they make their way into a broad, new world, and we are the ones that can learn this from. While our children are young, they seem to always mimic our every move. This is seen as cute and actually builds our self-esteem, however there is a certain age when a child needs to stop mimicking and begin living their own, individual life. We need to usher them into this, so they may never be left behind. Of course, our goal as parents is to have our children grow to be mature individuals. This is the goal for anyone who has cared for somebody else! However, our natural instincts tell us that we need to hover over indeed, to completely protect our offspring in order to provide and caring shelter so they will not get hurt. These are the children that over overprotective parents, causing a real issue in the child's perception of how life is lived, inhibiting their mental abilities needed for them to think for themselves. So we need to find a balance between raising our children in order for them to live as individuals, yet protecting them through our love for them. By showing them how to live through displaying our own self-esteem can cause an incredible impact on their outlook on life. Allow the kid to flourish and grow at his own pace and time. The biggest mistake you can do this may sound like a great strategy, however, in order for us to do this, we need to treat our children as if they already are individuals, not our property to protect. This is what causes them to begin to realize how life is lived through our examples and observing those who are older. The only way they can observe us is if they have a little distance in order to receive the full picture. Keeping them close, though it does protect them, does not train them as they need to be able to perceive the broader picture. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 49 of 49 This is the case with all of life! Yes, nothing is worth living unless it is birthed through pain and trail. As parents, it might be more difficult for us to allow painful situations or disappointments to settle on a child than it is for the child to actually live through these moments. Even so, the parent should rarely step in and prevent these painful experiences, as it is through these experiences that they will grow and mature into the unique individual you desire them to be. This will only train them to believe that they can handle difficulty situations on their own, and that they can do it confidently. This is one of the major benefits of having a high self-esteem: that you are able to move through each day and take on the day's challenges as if no other day has existed. The reason this is important is due to their ability to take on the pain and the trail, and move forward after defeating the issue without looking back. What an incredible ability! As this article has tried to show that the parental roles in children's lives are critical to their future's stability, the importance is equally laid on the parents of never giving into their premature demands. To produce a child that is overly dependant on your every move is producing a child worthless to society. To produce a free thinker is to create an array of possibilities for the mature adult. This is how life needs to be lived. How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 50 of 50 How To Boost Your Self Esteem © Wings Of Success Page 51 of 51 This Product Is Brought To You By